Everyone seems to be looking to obtain happiness.
I heard several interviews with different millionaires from around the world. Many of them said that they assumed that happiness came from being rich and having enough money to buy whatever they want.
However, they quickly learned that having everything their heart desired did not equal happiness, feeling fulfilled or accomplished. Instead, they were left with a bigger emptiness and void.
People naturally have the drive to work hard in order to make money to buy a nice house, nice car, jewelry and other stuff.
However, for many who succeeded in reaching the top, explain that they feel a great void and emptiness and lack of drive to climb higher because they already have everything they want. In some cases, they have more money than they can spend in their lifetime, but they have not reached happiness. Instead, they discovered that money cannot buy the one thing they are desperately looking for: happiness.
How is that possible?
I also watched several interviews with homeless people, and I was always amazed at how so many homeless people achieved a great level of happiness. They take one day at a time and are grateful for what they do have.
How is that possible?
Because happiness is a mindset, not a circumstance!
The secret to finding happiness it to always look down at those who have less than you rather than looking up to see who has more than you!!
If you constantly look down and see who is less fortunate than you, you can be grateful for what you do have. If you are constantly looking up at who has more than you, then you will never be happy, as there will always be someone who was blessed by Hashem with more.
Remember, no one can take anything from you, whatever Hashem wants you to have will come to you. If you go after something that is not yours, it will end up being a curse and not good for you. Story with Abaye who told the man not pray for this certain woman as a wife gemara taanis.
Always remember Torah stories such as the one about Yosef Moker Shabbos. When his rich neighbor heard that he will lose all his money to Yosef, he did everything in his power to protect his money. He put “all his eggs in one basket” and bought one big diamond, which he kept safely with him at all times. However, Hasham had other plans and in the end it reached Yosef in the most natural בדרך הטבע way of a fish swallowing it and Hashem orchestrated that Yosef should buy this fish, and he became rich.
We cannot get anything which is not meant for us, and we cannot lose anything, stuff or opportunities that are meant for us. We must do normal histadlus which means working normal hours, without neglecting the wife and children, and to make proper time to daven (praying) 3 times a day and to learn Torah without rushing every day.
The biggest source of happiness comes from giving, not from getting. The more one does for others, the happier they are.
Always look down the ladder at those who have less than you, 1) so that you can help them in any way possible, 2) so that you can be very grateful to Hashem for all the things that you do have.
Some people have the question: I have a large family in a small apartment, how can I possibly be happy? When we used to daven at a hotel near our home, we saw this phenomenon in a very interesting light.
During the Yom Tov of Succhos, several well-to-do families arrived with children and many suites cases and baby carriages. They got the keys to their suites, which consisted of 2 to 3 bedrooms. One room for the parents, one room for all their daughters and the other room for their sons. The price for these suites is more than many people earn in a year. A lower end hotel for a couple with 4 children starts at around $30,000 for just the Yom Tov.
Back home, these people have big homes, which others are likely jealous of. When family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances heard that this well-to-do family was going to a hotel for the Yom Tov, many were likely jealous.
However, if they had seen the conditions which the vacationers were living under for the duration of the vacation, they would likely rethink, and be grateful for what they have at home, despite the workload.
Living in a hotel for Yom Tov means:
Not having your own bed.
Sleeping in small cramped quarters.
Living out of suitcases. No spacious closets.
Eating at the specific hours decided by the hotel owner.
Eating whatever is served to you. Whatever is on the menu, none of your preferences taken into considerations.
Hold company with those who also booked a room in the hotel.
See the same guest for the duration of your stay, regardless if you get along with them or not.
The list goes on. Look around your home, it is bigger than a hotel suite, (if you don’t think so, book a suite for a day, check it out and try to fit all your belongings into that space.)
You have many more conveniences than the rich person staying at the most luxurious hotel. Yet they are considered lucky, while you feel sorry for yourself despite having mush more than they have.
Some people say: but cooking for Yom Tov is so hard, I would rather sit in a hotel and be served. However, at the hotel with no kitchen in the room, you are so dependent on others, on their schedule and their menu.
If you cannot cook all the meals, your takeout choices are much more elaborate and lower priced than a meal at a hotel. You can warm it up as needed and eat at a time that is perfect for you and your family. Learn to find the good in each situation. Learn to look at what you have rather than at what you are missing.
