Alert: body image starts in the mind, not in the mirror.
I was in a store to shopping for a dress when I saw a woman try on a dress that I tried on and rejected it because I did not like the way it looked on me. The dress looked stunning on her, she looked in the mirror, and she turned to all sides to examine herself. She then rejected the dress and put it back on the rack.
This happened several times. She kept trying on dresses, she has what appeared to be “the perfect figure” and she did not feel comfortable in any dress she tried on. She found flaws on her body with every dress.
I stood there in shock. Does this woman not see how beautiful she looks in every dress?
Then it hit me, and it changed my outlook on body image, and I hope to share this important lesson with you.
When we look down at ourselves, we see our tummy, we see our imperfections, However, no one other than ourselves sees us at this angle.
When we put look into the mirror, we see our flaws. We focus on those areas that are less than perfect.
Also, when looking for flaws, it is easy to find something.
However, when others look at us, they see us as a whole, from our head down to our shoes. No one focuses on our flaws, they see our perfection.
Also, when looking at others, we always focus on how good they look instead of the bad, making it easier to see the beauty.
The only person we need to convince that we are gorgeous the way we are is ourselves.
When I started researching this topic, I realized that It seems that no woman is perfectly happy with the way she looks.
No matter how skinny or pretty a woman is, there is always something she wishes she can change, focusing on the flaw or two.
Shockingly, If you listen to an anorexic person, you will realize that even when those who are skin and bones and look like a skeleton, they will find imperfections and some fat on their body somewhere they just need to loose.
This is because the way we perceive ourselves is not the same way the world sees us.
The anorexic person is out there to find the fat, so she will see something she can imagine as fat.
Some women, after losing weight, still see themselves as overweight, just like many poor people who became rich still feel poor because their mind is still in that place. Unless a person works on changing their outlook, they will view themselves the same as they old reality.
Every woman has a self-imposed image of what she sees as the perfect body type. Too many women want the tall, skinny “young girl” look. However, this is not how we should be, we are not girls. We are women, Hashem created and designed us to have a figure, to be bigger and wider on some areas of our bodies.
Don’t try to be a girl again, with a child like body. Embrace your body shape and size for what it is.
Our beauty lies in our mind and in our confidence as well as our perception.
Once we accept ourselves and learn to love ourselves regardless of our weight or dress size you will find the beauty.
A woman should not constantly be thinking of losing weight. The only time a woman should focus on losing weight is when her doctor tells her she needs to shed pounds to be healthy.
Even then, we should do what needs to be done without being obsessed or self-conscious about the weight or size.
Dress in cloths that make you feel good and self-confident and don’t worry how much “fat” is showing through the outfit, your confidence makes you attractive.
I saw a woman who weight around 275 pounds, but her confidence shined out of her. She wore very nice, good fitting skirts and blouses and she walked with pride. I was so inspired by her.
Her confidence and self-love made her look better than many other women who are thinner than her.
Many women, even those of average size, which is 12, wear oversized dresses because of lack of confidence within themselves and their bodies.
Look around and you will see that wearing bigger size dresses does not hide your true size.
Every morning, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself out loud:
1. I am beautiful just the way I am right now!
2. I am lovable the way I am right now! Your family and friends love you for who you are, not for your shape or size.
3. I deserve to look great and dress well just the way I am right now!
If you look for the beauty you will find the beauty.
This is the reason they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If you want to see beauty you will find it.
Do yourself a favor and walk into a store. Try different size clothes, try different styles and colors, your outfits don’t need to be just black or blue because of your size.
Get an outfit that is not too tight, not too loose, but good fitting. Wear it even if you don’t feel very comfortable at first, but wear it with confidence.
Remember, feeling good with yourself starts in the mind.
The mind is our most powerful force. It can make the worst of the best and the best of the worst. It is all up to you how you choose live your life.
Recognize the negative thoughts about your body image and weight and use the power of the mind Hashem gave you to quell them.
Don’t allow negative self-image take control of you. Hashem gave you the tools such as self-determination, to take control of your mind.
Growing up, I watched an elderly woman struggle with diabetes. She went for dialysis three times a week, which left her very weak. She also had little time left for other activities as this consumed most of her time. This is a very hard life to live.
Think about it: Sugar is our enemy, it kills our organs very slowly, and when we realize that there is damage it is usually late in the game and most of the time the damage cannot easily be undone.
LIFE SECRET:
If you want to lead a healthy lifestyle for yourself, don’t go on a diet!
Eat whatever you want, just small size portions!
Restricting your diet to only “boring” food will never work long term (unless you have a very strong control, or you have seen someone suffer ill health) just take to small portion size.
A doctor we know said that one does not lose weight with exercise. The only way to lose weight is by controlling the amount of food that goes into the mouth.
Here is a great exercise that can help you very much: take a bag, every time before you put something into your mouth, put a small amount of the food into the bag. At the end of the day, look at the bag. Then mush the bag is the same as your digestive system looks with all the food you eat that day.
It is difficult work for your system to digest so much and so many kinds of foods, leading to many health problems, bloating and weight gain.
Another great tip: Eat concisely. Don’t be a mindless eater by grabbing anything in sight and putting it into your mouth. Enjoy the food that goes into your mouth by doing this: no matter how small the snack is, take a plate and place mat and sit down at the table to enjoy the food.
When doing so, the bit of extra work will make you conscious of what you are eating, and it will help you enjoy the food more. It will make you physically and emotionally more satisfied. Also, when you have a few minutes time to think before putting a snack into your mouth, you may find that you may rather pick something more filling or healthy to eat.
Love yourself more than you love a piece of cake, a bowl of ice cream or a bar of chocolate.
Your self-worth and self-confidence leaves you more emotionally satisfied, feeling accomplished and physically greater than any sugar fix can give you.
