There seems to be a very big misconception regarding the Jewish women having their monthly cycle and immersing in the Mikvah (ritual bath).
Many unlearned people think that there is some kind of discrimination against women or that she is in some way physically unclean or dirty during her monthly cycle.
This cannot be further from the truth.
1)The concept of Tumah (impure) and Taharah (pure) is equal when it comes to men and women.
2)Tumah is not a physical or spiritual uncleanliness, but rather it is a status as far as being real Tumah as a status is concerned.
In the times of the Bait Hamikdash, any person who was in the status of Taharah was allowed to eat from the Karbanas (sacrifices) and one who was in the status of Tumah was not allowed to touch or eat them as well as Maaser (tithes) and Teruma.
There were times when men and women alike are deemed Tamah. A man, after noticing a certain liquid leave his body in a certain sequence of days and times, was referred to as a Zav and a woman the same, a Zavah.
Both had to wait the same amount of clean days before immersing in a Mikvah to be able to eat the sacrifices brought in the Bait Hamikdash, according to the laws of the citing of discharge or blood.
Nowadays, the type of discharge that causes a man to be a Zav and a woman a Zavah is not relevant because we unfortunately no longer have the Bait Hamikdash or Karbanas. May it be rebuilt speedily in our days.
However, when it comes to the monthly cycle, this still relevant the same way it was for the women in beginning of times, therefore to this day, we still immerse in the pool of water.
The only way for a man or women to change from the status of being impure to being pure is when one immerses into a pool of spring water. The Torah refers to this a Maiyim Chaim living water. It can be rain water, spring water, ocean water ect or certain man made body of water that is deemed as living water using certain techniques allowed by halacha.
A person who is Tamah is not in any way unclean or dirty physically. A person can immerse in a dirty or muddy pool of rain water and despite becoming physically dirty, he or she is now in a state of Teharah purity.
In addition, when one is in the state of impurity, his spirituality level has not changed at all he is not in any way less holy or connected to Hashem than before.
When the Kohen Gadol High Priest of Israel does the Avodah his work in the Biat Hamikdash and he becomes Tameah the assistant Kohen gadol takes over his jobs until the time when the Kohen Gadol can immerse in mikvah- pool of water, his spiritual level never became any less.
Torah laws have nothing to do with our feeling, we become in a state of impure because Hashem said so, and we become pure after immersing in any pool of water stated in the Torah because Hashem said so. It is not connected in any way shape of form to being dirty and using water to cleanse the dirt.
When it comes to the mitzvah of Shluach Haken sending the mother bird away before taking her children or eggs, the Torah warns that if a person says Hashem gave us this command because hashem “feels bad” for the mother bird, such a person should be cut off from the world. This is because the Torah has nothing to do with feelings or our understanding of a mitzvah. It is all about us following Hashem’s commandments.
Once we start using our feeling, logic or reasoning as to why we should love to do a mitzvah and what benefits we have by doing them, the Torah is forgotten and the next generation wants no part of it.
For example: when one says that going to the Mikvah nowadays is so nice, It’s like going to the spa. The rooms are nice, you get to relax and immerse in water that is warm, it can lead to disaster. Because what happens to someone who finds themselves in a place that does not have a nice mikvah around? Do they justify that they are now exempt from Mikvah since it is not comfortable for them to jump into a cold pool of water?
What happens when one is busy and does not have time to go to the “spa” or the doesn’t “feel like going to a spa” can they just skip Mikvah? Of course not because the Torah and its laws have nothing to do with feelings, our comfort or our understanding of the laws.
Too many people nowadays are trying to push Judaism to their children or in kiruv by explaining the benefits one get by doing the mitzvas. This is not the Torah way. We must follow the Torah because Hashem is our king our father, and He commanded us to do them.
When you tell people to keep mitzvahs for the reward, then once they don’t see the reward coming they drop it all.
Many people merit feeling a spiritual sweetness when doing Hashem’s commandments, however, It’s not always easy.
Sometime, the same exact aspect that one sees as a great outcome or reward for following the mitzvah is what another person sees a a negative in their life.
The Torah is not about a give and take, such as I do this mitzvah “for Hashem” and in return He has to do something for me. People with the attitude eventually leave Judaism, even if they practice the laws on the outside, they lose the commitment and behind closed doors they are not real Torah Jews committed to Hashem.
Example: many women find it difficult to separate from their husbands and go to the mikvah. We do it because Hashem said so, and we follow His laws.
There are many women who report how the laws of family purity actually greatly enhances their marriage, keeps things fresh and keep the couple desiring each other so much more.
When a person can have a lot of something, they tend to take it for granted. A person who lives near a beach does not go to the beach every day, but a person who is on a vacation near a beach will try to go every day to take advantage of the limited time they have at the beach.
The same is true when a couple has the ability to be intimate every night, (think about during pregnancy) they tend to push it off. When there is a limited time, there is more a sense of urgency and desire to connect a lot more in the allotted time.
Another advantage women have reported is that, as a general rule, women desire intellectual and emotional connection, while many men desire a more physical connection.
When a couple gets into a nice, loving and meaningful conversation, both feel great. the wife feels understood and content she is now ready for a peaceful night of sleep, while her husband feels connected and content in a way that he may be expecting it to lead to intimacy, and he can feel rejected if she turns over to sleep.
However, a couple who keeps the Jewish purity laws they have this special designated time every month for each type of connection.
During the monthly cycle they can get into deep meaningful conversations that lead to deep emotional connection, to understanding each other and spiritual growth without any of them expecting intimacy to follow as they know, it is not a rejection from the spouse but shared Jewish code of law while the other time of the month they can have the deep physical connection just like during their honeymoon.
However, for women who dislike intimacy, this is more difficult. (if one is a feeling Jew, she may have chosen not to go to the mikvah as it does not “feel comfortable” or is just not the right time as it is yom tov or shabbos or a very busy night.
Women who have difficult marriages reported enjoying the time of separation during their cycle, as this gives them a break from their marital commitments, they have time to find themselves and think about where they stand in the marriage without feeling pressured to be intimate. For these women the short time after Mikvah is tolerable as they know it will not last too long.
So as you can realize from the above examples, what for one person is a reward can be for another person the opposite. The Torah has no place for our feelings, we need to keep learning the Torah laws and commit to following Hashem no matter if it feels right or comfortable for us or not.
We see the same when it comes to following the laws of Shabbas.
When the question of “why we keep Shabbos” was posed to several well established kiruv workers and Jewish Families, many replied with feelings rather than Torah: “so we can disconnect from technology and spend time with family,” they all said.
What happens if a person spends time with family on Tuesday and did not touch a phone or computer on that day, can they skip Shabbos as they have already done their duty of “spending time with family and disconnecting from technology?
What happens to a person that does have family around, can they call or be on zoom with their family during the Shabbas meal so that they can be connected with family? If someone finds it hard to disconnect or technology brings them joy, can they use it on Shabbos? Of course not!
The only reason for a Torah Jew to keep Shabbos and these specific rules is because Hashem commanded us to do so and He gave us a set of rules we must follow, regardless of the reasoning.
Shabbos is a sign that we are connected to Hashem. Anyone who does not keeps Shabbos, is according to the Torah making a clear statement that they are not connected to Hahsem, even if they keep all other mitzvas.
For those who follows the Torah, keeping Shabbos can be the sweet time of the week to connect with Hashem, connect with their inner-self and others while eating the food they enjoy, but this is not the reason why we keep the laws of Shabbos.
When is comes to the laws of food, we are commanded not to eat things such as blood, insects and pig. We don’t refrain from eating them “because eating blood or bugs is disgusting” the Torah teaches us that we should say: pig, blood, insects ect. are very good. However, I am refraining from eating it because Hashem commanded us not to eat them.
Cite Gemara
What happens when people follow the Torah only to their level of understanding or feeling? The Torah is forgotten in the future generation.
We now see a trend in the orthodox Jewish community where people are selling imitation of non-kosher foods such as bacon called fakon and cheeseburgers made with vegetarian meat substitutes or fake cheeses, but unfortunately looks like the non-Kosher version. It even “bleeds” just like a juicy burger with the soy plant ingredients added.
In interviews with several Bali Tshuvah who are now restaurant owners, they expressed that they are trying to recreate recipes of food from their youth in a “Kosher way” so that the Jewish customers don’t feel deprived and can also eat them too.
“Felling” deprived or “feeling” a lack or just curious what is that Hashem commenced us not to eat, instead of being proud and privileged to follow Hashem’s laws can lead the next generation to:
1)going one step less than you, and they eat the non-kosher version of the food.
2)simply assume that you are mixing meat and dairy, they may not grasp the difference of the real thing and the imitation and it may lead to them to eat non-kosher.
3)them buying non-kosher food and falsely claim that it is kosher. Until now as it was unheard of for a Jew to hold bacon or a cheeseburger a child was not able to get away with this, until now.
