The biggest stressors in life seem to be caused by things that are out of our control.
People tend to take up their mind space with worry about things that they cannot change at all, such as the past or future.
We know השם הוה היה ויהיה Hashem is, was, and will always be. The Torah explains that for Hashem, there is no the concept of time. For Him, the past, present and future are all like one. In fact, time is just another creation created by Hashem, just like everything else we see.
However, for us human beings, this is not the case. Hashem did not create us with the ability to be in two spaces of time at the same moment. We can choose to dwell on the past, present or future, but we cannot mix the three.
The past is gone and there is nothing we can do to change it. The future is not here yet, and there is nothing we can do to speed things up. The present is here, live in the present and focus on the here and now.
Live for today, don’t look back or ahead.
However, it is a good idea to plan ahead and be proactive as the mishna in Avos 2:9 says איזהו חכם הרואה את הנולד Who is wise? One who foresees and anticipates the consequences of his actions.
The world for us was created like a see saw. If you dwell on the past, you will fall backwards, if you obsess or worry about the future, you can also fall off the seesaw of life. Focus on, holding onto to the center of the seesaw and concentrate on what is in front of you now.
Clear your head of stresses that are out of your control and look at what you can do now to make your life better physically and spiritually.
Today is a gift, this is why it’s called present. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift.
The only way to stay focused on the present is to keep growing in our connection with Hashem by constantly learning and davening with Kavanah. The words of davening are so beautiful and uplifting. Putting thought into tfillah always helps calm the person in every situation. Knowing that we are Hashem’s children and in His care, gives us a sense of security and serenity.
Side note: When you are davening, realize that we first praise Hashem and speak about his greatness. Focusing on those parts is where the source of joy and happiness comes from. Once we realize how great Hashem is, only then can we ask for what we need.
In addition, once we internalize the greatness of Hashem and how He takes care of each and one of the living things He created (including the eggs of lice, as we say daily in Shmona Esrai, Shma Kolainu), we stop worrying.
It is also important to understand that it is best to ask for general things, not specifics.
Example: When you recite the prayers for parnassah, you may have a specific business deal which you want to go through. However, it is best to pray for success and for parnassah in general rather than specific.
You never know if the deal is really that good for you or not. Maybe this business or deal will bring lots of money, but also lots of stress into your life. You don’t need to give ideas to Hashem on how to help you succeed. Hashem knows what is best for you and can create endless possibilities, as Hashem is endless.
Always pray for general things the way it is stated in the siddur, which is the way the Anchay Knesses Hagedolah set it up. This is the proper way to daven.
Always ask Hashem for success in your day for both physical and spiritual matters. Trust in Hashem and leave it up to Him to lead you to the best outcome possible.
Letting go and letting Hashem run His world is the most peaceful way to live. Do what is required of you. Always be prepared for every situation, but once you have done all you can, sit back, relax and leave the outcome to Hashem.
Remember “HaKol BeYedei Shamayim Chutz MiYirat Shamayim,” “Everything is in Hashem’s hands except fear of Heaven” (Berachot 33b and Megillah 25a).
Your job is to focus on Yiras Shamayim, and Mitzvahs, especially in Bain Adam Lechavero, and to leave the rest up to Hashem.
